The All-Too-Honest Belle Mt. Year Review...
One man's failure becomes the same man's success.
I recently reflected, during the final episode of season 1 of my podcast DROPPED, that by the expectations I had in 2023, 2024 felt like a disappointment. Back in December 2023, I had envisioned 2024 as the year - the year we’d release the debut album and finally reclaim our place after two years of build-up. I was almost deludedly certain that millions of streams would flood in, TV and movie syncs were inevitable for at least a few of the tracks, and who knew what other opportunities might follow? The optimism of “anything is possible” before releasing a creative project is a powerful inebriant and delusion can be a useful shield, until it’s shattered.
I put so much pressure on this one release because, in truth, it felt like it was all I had professionally. Albums are time-consuming, energy-draining, and expensive to create, and this one had been years in the making. It had drained it all. I’d traded ownership of all my previous master recordings in an ill-advised record deal: Hollow, Loving You, This Kind of Heavy, The Water, Origins, Hydra, and every other Belle Mt. song released before February 2022 - and what did I have to show for it? Two years of modest wages, a failed major label stint, and thankfully the ownership of this album.
The stakes couldn’t have been higher. I thought, “I’ll be happy with 10 million album streams in 2024, but the real target is 50 million.” Well, rock bottom awaited. The album came out, and while many of our fans gave an incredible response (thank you!), it didn’t yet break through much further than that and it didn’t work to propel Belle Mt. into its next phase.
It was pretty soon after the release that the wheels started coming off. Just five days after our triumphant headline release show in London, our guitarist announced out of the blue that he’d be leaving the band to focus on other projects. My annual seasonal depression, which had held off until then, descended opportunistically and despite my best efforts, I was largely checked out for the next two months, a critical time for any album release, especially one that relied on me as its sole driving force. It was almost a disaster. Almost an entirely derailed year.
But sitting here on January 1st, 2025, I see that it wasn’t. In fact, 2024 was an important year and one of my most essential years of growth yet. A year of shedding the old, embracing reality & the present moment (however difficult), and creating space for the new.
Once I’d processed the blows and collected myself (with the help of great friends and an incredibly supportive wife), I re-emerged to find some moments of true joy. One of the first I remember was the delivery of the Mean World Syndrome vinyl pressings. I’ll never forget the crisp air outside as I unloaded the pallet from the front drive into my living room, beaming from ear to ear as I played the album front to back on my speakers and heard it as if for the first time. Those who’ve experienced depression will know that joy is something you just can’t fake, it truly abandons you for a while but when it finally returns it hits you like that first gasp of air after surfacing from a deep dive. You can’t fake it when it’s gone, and you can’t miss it when it’s back.
I decided to pursue joy and growth in 2024. I let go of the “10-year plan” and focused on the present moment. Journeys to Berlin followed, with intimate performances to small rooms of eager music fans that received me with fresh ears. I booked a trip to the US; Nashville, Portland & LA to write new music and connect with the people who’ve uplifted me time and time again on this ride. These moments reminded me of who I am and why I do this. I exchanged energy directly with other artists and music lovers, and their enthusiasm for what I do and what they do, reignited something in me.
I remembered who I am in 2024. I remembered why I do this - and why I’ll keep on doing it. I launched DROPPED podcast with another great artist and kindred spirit I’ve met on the journey, Greg Holden. DROPPED just wrapped up its first season and I’ve learned and grown so much in the process of making it; acquiring new skills, overcoming doubt and imposter syndrome through countless conversations about why we’re doing what we’re doing and what it would mean to stop doing it. I’ll never stop doing it.
I tried, and continue to try, to be truly transparent about my journey here in this newsletter and to share as much of myself and my process as I can over on Patreon, it’s another gradual process of growth over there. The album hit 1 million streams and over 1 million people listened to Belle Mt. across Spotify and Apple Music alone. When viewed outside of the twisted lens of my previous expectations, that’s a huge number of people and I’m grateful for each and every one as I plan my next steps as an artist and music maker.
I’m proud of who I was in 2024, and I’m excited about who I’ll become in 2025. I hope you, too, can reflect on your successes and failures from 2024 and feel a similar sense of pride and growth. Ups and downs are part of the journey and failure is not a roadblock to success, it’s the route to success.
Be kind to yourself this new year.
Much love, 🖤
–Matt
Want to hear more music and help me make 2025 a huge success? Join me on Patreon 🖤
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Season 1 of DROPPED Podcast is out in full. Catch up below! 🎙️
It’s been so much fun to make this podcast with Greg and we’re only just getting started with it. We’ve explored our back stories and how we got to where we are now. We’ve done Q&A’s on songwriting and interviewed guests ranging from industry expert Rob Abelow to fiercely independent web3 artist Violetta Zironi and #1 writing songwriter Sacha Skarbek (You’re Beautiful, Wrecking Ball).
Start your journey with the podcast or catch up at the link below!
